RM1 Kindness.

 With just one ringgit a month, you could help children in poor countries. You could help make their lives better. 

YOU can make a difference.

That's usually how charities approach you and ask for money. I know, because I worked for charities before.

Since I started to work in Kuala Lumpur, I would bump into charities when I'm walking back to the train station. They would appear around the area, asking for donations few times a month.

In the beginning, I would ignore them because I just wanted to go home. But one day, I was in a rather good mood so I thought, maybe I'll just stop and listen to their cause. The more I listened, the more I regret.

This guy told me the usual, starving children, people living in poverty, unsanitized environment. Then he asked me if I have a credit card. I said no.

Turns out I need a credit card to subscribe to their donation program. Every month they will get RM1 from your bank account. He thanked me and asked me to visit their website. I felt cheated of my time, and I missed the train by a second that day. I wasn't happy.

I met this guy a few times after that incident. Every time he would try to stop me even though he's going to tell me the same thing, and I would always say no. 

One time, he followed me all the way from where he's stationed to the train station. While he kept begging me to stop and listen for 30 seconds, I kept rejecting him and said I couldn't help. I didn't like it, but you gotta admire his dedication.

Even though subscribing to their charity would only mean me losing RM12 a year, somehow that doesn't sit right with me.

But it's just a ringgit. They're suffering a fate worse than yours.

I do not consider myself as a generous person. I don't think I'm a selfless person either. I just think I'm allowed to take care of myself first before worrying about others.

That doesn't mean I don't feel guilty rejecting the charity worker and all his friends. I thought to myself, am I selfish? Do I not have heart for the children escaping from war? The refugees whose tomorrows aren't even certain?

Somehow I still can't find a reason for myself to fork out that one ringgit. I'm still not convinced that I should help by giving my money, even though the world now is rich enough to solve poverty.

For a while, I felt like I'm the most selfish person ever. Is it that difficult for someone like me, with a roof over her head, eating three meals a day, to give a single Ringgit a month?

I think the reason why most people hesitate to give their money to charities is because they can't really see the results. Dodgy charities won't tell you how they spend their money, and you feel suspicious when charities tell you that 100% of their donation goes to their cause, which is highly unlikely.

A good charity won't have any problem explaining to you how they handle their money and provide results that are more than just pictures of happy children receiving food.

Money can solve a lots of problem in the world, but they are not the only way.

You can offer more than money to charities. I volunteered my skills as a designer to promote for charities. Me and my friends made a video to spread messages. I'm currently writing articles for a charity at work.

I'm not totally sitting at the sidelines, doing nothing. But is it enough?

I could volunteer, but volunteering isn't as simple as people think. Short term volunteering can do a lot of harm to communities if you're not careful. There are also charities that are just trying to earn money and not really helping the communities.

But that's another topic for another day.

Now when I bump into the charities near my station, I avoid them or flat out ignore them like before. It makes me feel bad, but what's the point of donating if I don't feel sincere about it?

Am I an asshole for not feeling sympathy to the impoverished? Do I feel nothing towards the horrors of the world? Has media desensitized how we feel about wars and deaths that come with it?

I don't know. Maybe? It's hard to tell when you're not experiencing it. I guess it shows how ignorant and privileged I am. But I don't think there's anything wrong with being selfish.

I'm not a hero. I can't save the world or everyone. I can't even save myself from my uncertain future. What makes you think an average girl in Malaysia can help others?

I have a feeling I will take back my words if I ever end up like the vulnerable people in these war torn countries.

But then, what's the reason these people are suffering these miserable fates?

Politics and evil, evil people.

Every time I read news articles about civil wars and conflicts caused by lands and deaths  due to terrorism, I just think, everything is no unnecessary. Why are they doing this? Why can't everyone just get along. And it's only getting worse.

The world is going down, man.