Haunt.
She used to describe me as a person who is capable to move on quickly. No matter what shit is given to me I'll try to avoid, move on and get on my life.
And that's true.
When I decided I don't want something, someone in my life anymore, I'll use all sorts of ways, cut all ties to avoid and not see that particular thing in my life ever again. I have no desire to make contact or do anything with it anymore.
All of the times when I make such decisions, I don't regret it. I don't miss the past. I'm fine living without it. It is like what she said, a breeze for me. A walk in the park. I have no problem to leave something out of my life. Forever.
Yeah, it hurts time to time. But I guess humans are not that weak. We're tend to be okay after some time. People will tell you things are going to be okay, and you'll tell yourself you'll move on. Even it doesn't, even if you're alone, you'll at least go numb. 'Cause you're tired of it.
I left practically left half of my life behind when I graduated from secondary school. It was going well too 'cause no one finds me after that. (High five, June)
If we're belonged to herds of different sheeps I'll be that lone, black sheep. And when everyone returned to the barn I'll be sleeping outside. I completed one phase of my life that way. And I guess that's why it's easier for me to not get haunted by the past.
It opened my eyes. I've matured. I realized that things don't go your way.
It also changed my life. My perspective. My thinking. How I act towards people and how I deal with situations today is all because of my past. It scarred me more than I thought.
You'll be fine. Going on with your life. Living today like how you think you usually do.
But what if they come back.
Well yeah, these things do happen. By the time they drop by again, I've 'healed' from all the scars and moved on pretty far already, so I'll make it quick.
The times when they do come back, I don't like to linger too long with the past. Say our greetings, tell a tiny fraction of my situation and bid farewell. Normally they don't come back, and I'm perfectly fine with that.
What is done is done. Even if you could turn back time and redo it all over again, the thought of how everything was destroyed, how everything had vanish will always be at the back of your head. If I had a chance to change my past, I'd rather not. 'Cause I learned from it and I learned the ways how people may act.
I wish I am emotionless and cold like how people think I am. In reality I cry like a baby.
I hate seeing even a small trace of what I tried to erase. I literally removed it but somehow it comes back and initially it'll ruin my mood but slowly, I get used to it. But still, I don't want to see it. Not anymore. Not in my life, hopefully.
Two years.
I guess it took two years to get over it. To finally think of yeah, maybe I can stop running a bit and take few steps back. I can finally take a peek of the past, and you know. Reminisce? All the good times?
It feels better now. Now that it's settled.
I'm comfortable to go back.
He finally got his friggin answer.
You apologizing.
She probably faintly knowing about this.
And the rest that doesn't have a clue.
Well, it's not like we have a proper ending but it's something.
I'll keep walking, still moving on. It's still my forte. But I'll turn back more often now. There are things I left behind, things that are precious to me. Even if they remind me of bad memories.
I won't let you haunt me anymore.
And that's true.
When I decided I don't want something, someone in my life anymore, I'll use all sorts of ways, cut all ties to avoid and not see that particular thing in my life ever again. I have no desire to make contact or do anything with it anymore.
All of the times when I make such decisions, I don't regret it. I don't miss the past. I'm fine living without it. It is like what she said, a breeze for me. A walk in the park. I have no problem to leave something out of my life. Forever.
Yeah, it hurts time to time. But I guess humans are not that weak. We're tend to be okay after some time. People will tell you things are going to be okay, and you'll tell yourself you'll move on. Even it doesn't, even if you're alone, you'll at least go numb. 'Cause you're tired of it.
I left practically left half of my life behind when I graduated from secondary school. It was going well too 'cause no one finds me after that. (High five, June)
If we're belonged to herds of different sheeps I'll be that lone, black sheep. And when everyone returned to the barn I'll be sleeping outside. I completed one phase of my life that way. And I guess that's why it's easier for me to not get haunted by the past.
It opened my eyes. I've matured. I realized that things don't go your way.
It also changed my life. My perspective. My thinking. How I act towards people and how I deal with situations today is all because of my past. It scarred me more than I thought.
You'll be fine. Going on with your life. Living today like how you think you usually do.
But what if they come back.
Well yeah, these things do happen. By the time they drop by again, I've 'healed' from all the scars and moved on pretty far already, so I'll make it quick.
The times when they do come back, I don't like to linger too long with the past. Say our greetings, tell a tiny fraction of my situation and bid farewell. Normally they don't come back, and I'm perfectly fine with that.
What is done is done. Even if you could turn back time and redo it all over again, the thought of how everything was destroyed, how everything had vanish will always be at the back of your head. If I had a chance to change my past, I'd rather not. 'Cause I learned from it and I learned the ways how people may act.
I wish I am emotionless and cold like how people think I am. In reality I cry like a baby.
I hate seeing even a small trace of what I tried to erase. I literally removed it but somehow it comes back and initially it'll ruin my mood but slowly, I get used to it. But still, I don't want to see it. Not anymore. Not in my life, hopefully.
Two years.
I guess it took two years to get over it. To finally think of yeah, maybe I can stop running a bit and take few steps back. I can finally take a peek of the past, and you know. Reminisce? All the good times?
It feels better now. Now that it's settled.
I'm comfortable to go back.
He finally got his friggin answer.
You apologizing.
She probably faintly knowing about this.
And the rest that doesn't have a clue.
Well, it's not like we have a proper ending but it's something.
I'll keep walking, still moving on. It's still my forte. But I'll turn back more often now. There are things I left behind, things that are precious to me. Even if they remind me of bad memories.
I won't let you haunt me anymore.
Comments