First Week of School.

Can I really do it by myself?

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You know, I was quite excited to finally go back to school after three months of holiday. To see my friends, that is. But it's okay to go back there and see how much money our school wasted on decorations again and again.

They already installed a LCD TV, what's next?

I wouldn't be surprised to find myself landing a spot in B class, but my heart really ache when all my friends were still at A class. But at least I wasn't really alone, I had some friends over there.

This year, I decided to work hard on my studies. I thought I could get higher rankings in B class, heh. But on the third day staying in B class, I already begun to doubt myself. I can't do it without my friends.

I am lonely. It's not that I have no one to talk to, but no one I could really open myself to. I miss chatting with my friends, or just asking them question I don't understand. Even if I sat during the same spot in the science lab, my friends just aren't there anymore.

And it feels sad when you have to raise your hand when someone says, '4B?' and all your friends aren't raising their arms with you. Even my friend said it was strange seeing me doing that.

A and B class is actually studying in a cabin located at the field. I'm sitting near the window at the back row so it's kinda nice, looking at the grass. But when there's no one to talk to, there's the only place I could stare at.

Then, there were former B class people in the A class requesting to change back to B. Some teachers also asked if anyone of us wanted to change class. It was normal for my friends asking me to change, but I always said I needed to think.

I'm in a dilemma. The reason I hesitated to change to A class because I have a wonderful Bahasa Melayu teacher, Pn.Thye. Without her, I couldn't score an A in my PMR. So if I had to change to A class, losing her would be the price to pay.

It was on the fifth day when a student from A class asking my classmate behind me if she wanted to switch with him. That means she would be able to get into A class and he in B class. I was frozed at the spot upon hearing that.

And then I heard that they had to decide before the meeting - that was actually happening at the moment - was over. Hearing her agreeing to the deal and walking together away really felt like broken pieces of glass piercing into my heart all in one time.

That time I thought, Is it too late? Am I really going to be alone this whole year?

Then, the school announced that they will rearrange everyone's position according to their PMR results because they received many complaints. Now everyone is complaining how our school sucks. I'm just hoping I can be with my friends once again.

I sound so emo.

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BLAHBLARGHBLURGHBLERHBLORH I have no free time this year! Because of my ballet lessons, I can't really attend all my tuition classes. School activities are going to start soon and I don't know if I can really handle it all.

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