Year of the Hebi.
HEY WAZZZAAAPPPPP.
Hebi is the romanji of the word snake in Japanese. The kanji is the same as the Chinese character.
Anyway, according to the Chinese calendar, it's the year of the snake (HAI SERUUUUU). Somehow I have no memory of celebrating the snake year, because I was only six years old then. Hmm, so I guess this will be the first time I'll be celebrating one.
Err, it isn't New Year yet but I'm already posting this. I think every new year will be the same and if I post the same thing every year it will be .. useless. Yes, I don't even take pictures of CNY anymore because it's the same every year. Reunion dinner, lion dance, red packets. It's the same.
*changes topic*
Well, I guess everyone knows the story of the twelve zodiacs racing against each other to meet the Jade Emperor. The Jade Emperor had also decided that the years on the calendar would be named for each animal in the order they arrived to the meeting. In the end, the rat finished the race first, followed by the ox, the tiger, the rabbit, the dragon, the snake, the horse, the goat, the monkey, the rooster, the dog, and lastly the pig.
This is extra information but I'm the cute adorable pig.
*coughkoffahem* Anyway, when I first heard of this story when I was young, I already thought it was bullshit. Come on, how could the dragon lost to all the animals? (Chinese dragons have short legs but they can freakin' fly.) The tiger can swallow the rabbit whole while in the race and the pig can definitely run faster than the rooster. Well, I guess it's just a tale but really?
Now with the power of the Internet, I made researched and gather information of the speed of the twelve animals. There wasn't any specific information about what kind of subspecies of the animals are so I just chose the fastest among them. Now imagine a toy poodle participating in the race.
CUTENESS EXPLOSION OVERLOAAADDDDDD.
But I must say, I dare not confirm that what I present here is accurate, as the information varies from different sources. And certainly, I can't calculate the speed of the dragon and somehow I can't find any information for the ox. In the end, here's is what I think it should be.
1. Dragon
2. Horse - 54.7 mph
3. Dog - 42 mph
4. Tiger - 35 mph
5. Monkey - 34 mph
6. Rabbit - 29.8 mph
7. Sheep - 27 mph
8. Ox - 17-27 mph
9. Snake - 20 mph
10. Rat - 16.16mph
11. Pig - 11 mph
12. Rooster - 6-9 mph
The results are purely based on speed only. But then like I said, I'm not really confident in my results because some do seem illogical, isn't it? So, I'll explain.
Since the dragon is a mythical creature and has the ability to fly, the dragon should had overcome obstacles easily and landed itself at the first place.
For second place, I took the speed of the fastest race horse. Don't ask me the name of the horse, I forgot.
The Greyhound breed (dog) is the fastest among all the dogs and even I find it difficult to believe that it beat the tiger.
The tiger at the fourth place can reach 35 mph but it only lasts for a while. I don't know what is their average speed because normally tigers don't go chasing a prey for a long time. It's easier for them to catch dinner from a smaller prey that can't outrun them in short spurts.
And at the fifth place is the Patas monkey. It's the fastest monkey among all the subspecies. Hmm, monkeys.
Hopping into the sixth place is the rabbit. I never seen a rabbit sprint before because normally they're in pet shops and in cages or in hands on the owners or lazily eating carrots or vegetables. Maybe rabbits are being more like pigs now, hmm.
Seventh place belongs to the sheep. There was this incident in German where the police was chasing a runaway sheep and the sheep reached the speed of 27 mph.
I just couldn't find any result for the speed of ox so I took the most similar animal to it, the cow. Imagine a cow running towards you at such speed. Hmm, since the cow's mass is large it could cause severe damage or maybe even fatal towards humans. Now imagine an ox with large horns charging towards you.
The animal of this year, the snake slithers into ninth place, three places behind from the original placings. The fastest subspecies of the snakes, which is the Black Mamba snake can reach up to 20 mph. But normally, any human being will run away at first sight of any snakes.
Originally the winner of the race, the rat is disappointingly at the tenth place. Well, it managed to got first because it was the riding at the back of the ox, and later jumped towards the finishing line before the ox could cross it. Back stabbbberrrrrr, LOLJK my dad's a rat.
And the finishing at the eleventh place (not the last!) is the pig. Unlike what people think, pigs aren't exactly dumb or lazy. I have witness smart pigs that knows the multiplication timetable in Thailand and they're not lazy, they're enjoying life.
Not surprisingly, the last place belongs to the rooster. It is just impossible for the rooster to run faster than the dog at least. It may have flew for a short distance but no, it's just impossible. If it was a competition of early risers, maybe yeah, the rooster will win.
Hmm, I guess that is all. I want to wish everyone and Happy Chinese New Year and enjoy the holidays.
I WANT RED CONVERSE SNEAKERSSSS.
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I realized in both incidents, I lost my best friends because of jealousy. And in both incidents, they ignored me.
What cruel fate is playing on me, hmmmm?
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